I Do Not Judge You For Struggling With Breastfeeding
/Guest Blogger- Brittany Mitchell
Every breastfeeding experience is different for every mama and baby. Whether it lasts for one day, one year, or three. Nobody will understand your journey, and they don't have to. It is yours and your baby's, and no one else's. I know that sometimes my posts or my sharing of information may come off as judgmental or anti-formula. I don't judge anyone's experience and I don't judge the use of formula when breastfeeding seems to fail. I judge the marketers of formula who send coupons all through a woman's pregnancy making it an easy alternative, when they are only trying to make a buck and sway you to their product. I judge them for sending out free cans of formula specifically for supplementation making a woman doubt her body before she's even given a chance. I judge our doctors and healthcare providers who don't educate themselves enough to support our natural ability. I judge them for making mothers feel unable. I judge them for telling mothers they can't breastfeed because of their birth experience or because of medications they have prescribed, when there are almost always alternatives that can be safely taken while nursing. I judge them for making the progress of a baby a one size fits all approach. I judge employers who tell a mother that she can't take the breaks she needs to pump for her child, when it is her legal right to take as many of those breaks as she needs.
Knowing the statistics..knowing that there is only a 2% chance that a mother will be truly unable to breastfeed and knowing so many women that have been told that they are or will be unsuccessful makes me irate. Not at the mothers. We all know, that as mothers, we are just trying to do what is best for our babies. I am angry at these people who claim to be our support system and are not. It saddens me that to be successful, you must educate yourself, because looking for answers from others will lead you down a road of failure.
I know I've gone on a crazy tangent that hardly relates to the picture I've shared, but just know that regardless of all these people that make breastfeeding difficult, when it is already difficult enough..I support every mother in her journey. One day or 400. Skin to skin or exclusively pumping. Don't let anyone shame you for your experience.
Related article- Manipulative Formula Marketing-
Do you have your own story to share? Please share with me (here) and I may feature it on my blog!
Don't forget to sign up for the BFMT monthly Newsletter sponsored by Fairhaven Health! Just submit your email below!
Our Last Nurse
/A Note From A Husband & A Dad That Will Bring You To Tears!
/By- Cristian Gutierrez
It's 9:00pm as a man gets home from work. He's tired, hungry and in need of a shower.. not to mention a wishful full body massage.
He slowly walks towards his front door expecting to open the door and see a clean home , a dinner plate in the microwave , a sleeping child and a wife ready to serve him while doing so in heels and lingerie.
But those expectations are met with quiet the opposite. He notices his wife is in bed, sweat pants on, hair in a bun and a child latched on to what use to be his property. Something that over the course of 2 years and 7 months can get a man jealous, but hey!!! who's counting?
He proceeds towards the bathroom but not before going through heavy toy fire, Disney DVD cases tossed around as well as the occasional dangerous and painful Lego.
He finally makes is way through the bathroom and heads into the shower. After a heavily bad odor influenced man bath, he sees himself in the mirror only to notice 5yrs of marriage does add 30lbs (scientifically proven to be a fact).
As he drys off, he looks at him self in the mirror. Not in a physical form. Thoughts of his imperfections are only noticeable when you look into your own eyes even if it's through a fogged bathroom mirror.
It over comes his emotions of being cheated out of that home cooked meal with a dessert. What does he see? ....... He see's a man with selfish expectations and lack of compassion. He can't bare to look at himself any more so he walks back into the bedroom.
His phone has become a physical extension of him and since he can't take into the shower, he desperately looks for it in order to see what's going on in the world outside of his home.
He unlocks his phone .... Sees a missed text msg from his wife. It's a video of their son singing his butt off. Only a child of a much older age can pull that off. He smiles as he watches it over and over.
As usual he then looks for his charger, he sees it right under his son's white board. To his surprise, it has numbers , letters , figures. Something you would only see in a school. Teachings that only a mother would do. Along with unwritten Patience that only a mother could have.
He smiles as he realizes that his son more than likely learned something new that day. Only to be credited to the person that dedicates that time. His wife.
He walks towards the bed and sees his son's eating table with an empty plate on top, evidence that he might've had a late dinner. Signs that a mother had fed his child. The way only a caring mother would.
Near the bed is a clean towel along with clean clothes. Undoubtedly it looks like she passed up on a shower or didn't get that chance to take one. Nothing is more clear to him at that moment that it's probably been a long day for his wife as well (probably twice as long) since mother positions don't come with 15 minute breaks or a lunch hour with a great margarita happy hour.
He wants to wake her up now and ravage her body into pieces with his aggressive sexual drive. Romance? Non existing in his artillery anymore. Luckily for him, he's very much in love with his wife and her body so him trying would be like riding a bike again (it comes natural).
He lays down next to her and holds her tight. Kisses her neck, and anywhere he can get his lips on. That moment means more to him than anything else, especially his selfish expectations. His lack of compassion is turned by the evidence of non stop caring, Patience and love for someone they both love unconditionally.
The sweat pants, the hair in a bun are only war attire that comes with taking care of his child. Only to make her now, more desirable and more beautiful then ever.
Sleeping next to her is a privilege, and he now understands that. Having her love is earned but yet still given to him by her, so making sure she doesn't feel taken for granted is his new goal and will remain part his relationship until his heart stops beating for her.
"The Real" Bashes Breastfeeding!!
/I was so disappointed when it came to my attention that the girls on the show, "The Real" were bashing breastfeeding. I won't even categorize it. They were bashing breastfeeding. Those who choose to breastfeed past the age that society deems to be "normal" are still breastfeeding and still breastfeeding mothers. I was shocked, absolutely shocked to hear Tamera bash it as well. I was a huge fan of her. She and her sister Tia came up with a drink to help increase milk supply so I was hoping that she would be the one voice in the mix to stand up for ALL breastfeeding mothers. The WHO recommends breastfeeding until age two OR BEYOND.
They also all agreed that mothers should cover up when they are in public and one of them even acted shocked to learn that many choose to breastfeed uncovered. It's clips like the one above that drives my need to give unconditional support to breastfeeding mothers grow stronger and stronger. Moms do not need this. A mom breastfeeding her baby does not hurt anyone around her so people need to get over their discomfort about breastfeeding because the amount of breastfeeding supporters is a strong force and will always come back stronger than ever! Mamas don't let people like that bring you down or make you feel like you are doing something wrong. You should feel proud, not ashamed.
Feel free to tell the girls over at The Real exactly how you feel about their opinion of breastfeeding.
Using A Cover While Breastfeeding Is Not Wrong!
/I think too many times people take things to the extremes and sometimes it's necessary, but most of the time it isn't. With breastfeeding in public being such a controversial topic some people assume that if you are a breastfeeding mother you should breastfeed in the complete opposite manner that society expects you to and that is not what the mission is. The mission shouldn't be to breastfeed in a way to upset the people around you. The whole point of normalizing breastfeeding is to breastfeed in a way that the mother and baby are most comfortable and sometimes the mom and baby prefer to use a cover.
Someone choosing to use a cover and someone implying all breastfeeding women should cover are two different things. Choosing to cover with a blanket is not wrong, Choosing to breastfeed in a bathroom stall is not wrong, Choosing to leave the dinner table to breastfeed is not wrong, choosing to breastfeed in a parked car is not wrong, if the mom is the one choosing that for herself. Those things are only wrong when someone is trying to bully someone into doing those things.
People should not be criticizing covered nursing in general. When you talk bad about those who CHOOSE to cover it is harmful to our overall mission. I think some people lose sight of what we're fighting for here. We are fighting for a woman's right to breastfeed however her and baby are most comfortable. I just felt the need to reassure those who choose to cover or choose to breastfeed in a private location, they are not wrong for choosing to do so and that I fully support them choosing that. I do not want myself or my page Breastfeeding Mama Talk wrapped in with all the cover shamers.
Remember our fight is about normalizing breastfeeding so that moms can feel comfortable breastfeeding however they are comfortable breastfeeding. Our fight is against those who expect mothers breastfeed in a way to suit their personal comfort level. Shaming a mom for choosing to use a cover makes you no better than the people who shame moms who don't use a cover. Let's try to stay on point and support your fellow breastfeeding moms. If you are a mom who is freely choosing to cover up while breastfeeding then you go for it! You are in no way hurting the cause or not supporting the cause by choosing to cover up or breastfeed in a private location. I fight for your right to choose that! My fight is for women to feel comfortable CHOOSING their own breastfeeding experience! Don't ever feel pressured to breastfeed in a way you're not comfortable with! I will support you no matter what you choose!
