7 Annoying Parenting Questions

By: Kristy Kemp 

You all know those questions people "ask" but they are more like insinuations and judgments. Here are seven of those...

1.) "Do you have a good baby?" 

When what they are really asking is, "So does your baby sleep through the night, nurse when you want them to, and doesn't cry often?" We have this warped view on what makes a baby, "good" and it needs to stop. 
So my reply to that would be- "If by good you mean my baby wakes through the night, constantly wants to be held. and latched onto my boob 24/7, then yes my baby is great! My baby acts the way babies are biologically wired to act."

2.) "Shouldn't that kid be on cows milk by now?"

This one gets my blood boiling. First of all, humans do not NEED cows milk, it's a preference. So to insinuate to a breastfeeding mom that she should rush through weaning before they are even ready to stop giving her child breastmilk so that said child could drink cows milk in it's place is asinine. 
My reply to that is- "Considering cows milk doesn't offer anything extra breastmilk does and breastmilk offers so much more than cows milk, what exactly is the rush to wean my human child off my human milk? She has her whole life to choose cows milk if she pleases, but for now she and I would rather her have the best possible milk she could consume. In the second year breastmilk provides: 
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements
That sounds a whole lot more nutritional than any udder milk."

3.) "You share a bed & nurse to sleep? You better break them off that bad habit now."

Bed sharing and breastfeeding to sleep is the biological norm which is probably why so many babies prefer it. They are used to sleeping in warm comfy womb, mothers heartbeat, so it only makes since that being close to mommy is what relaxes them and keeps them in deep slumber. 
My reply would be, "My baby is only this little once and I will do whatever I need to so that my baby's needs are meant. I'm good with bed sharing and breastfeeding so I wouldn't call it a "bad habit" I would call it a parenting choice and a damn good one if you ask me. It works for us!"

4.) "Do you ever put your baby down?" 

Many babies need constant attention and reassurance and wearing them/holding them is a great way to give them that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with holding your baby all the time.
My reply, "Nope, but hopefully she learns to walk before college because that would really put a strain on my back!"

5.) "You know picking your baby up every single time she cries will spoil her."

Newborns cry because they have basic needs — to be fed, held, comforted, and loved. Their needs are actually the same as their wants at this age. And it is your job to listen to your instincts and respond to those needs and wants as best you can. When you respond to your newborn’s cries and try to meet her needs, you’re teaching her to feel secure and confident. And that security and confidence will result in less crying and more independence in the long run. 
My reply is simple, "Babies don't spoil." 

Annoying Parenting Questions

6.) "Are you nursing again? Couldn't you put that in a cup/bottle?" 

There is absolutely no need to pump your milk if you don't have to. Breastfeeding isn't just about the milk either so someone suggesting that you could just pump and cup/bottle feed is them maybe unintentionally telling you that you should be ripping away their main comfort source. Many people view breastfeeding as a food source and they are half correct as it is definitely the best source of nutrition, but it goes way deeper than that. It's comfort, it's bonding, and it's a special connection between mom and child. 
A good response to that is, "Breastfeeding isn't just about the milk so pumping and cup/bottle feeding wouldn't make sense for us. The World Health Organization promotes breastfeeding all the way until the age of two OR beyond they don't even have a cut off age. She will wean eventually, but it's something I'd rather not rush her into." 

7.) "Why can't you just hire a babysitter then?"

That's my favorite one. You're a new mom , you vent, you're frustrated, etc.. and you get slammed with , "Just get a babysitter" as if that would be the magical cure all solution. I have nothing against babysitters or people using them I think in the right situations they are great and sometimes even necessary, but they definitely do not work for everyone and I was one of those people where a babysitter was not an option. My son was exclusively breastfed for the first 3 months of his life so how would feeding work if I were to have not only found a babysitter I could trust, which was impossible for my situation and also find a babysitter I could afford, which was also a huge hurtle for my family? My response to that would me, "Are you gonna find me someone I can trust and pay their fee for me? Oh no? Alright then, it's not as easy as that. Considering he is exclusively breastfed and my boobs aren't detachable, not sure how that would work out." 

Kristy Kemp

My name is Kristy Kemp. I created Breastfeeding Mama Talk back in September 2012. My motivation behind creating Breastfeeding Mama Talk was to be that support system for breastfeeding mothers around the world.