I recently wrote a blog listing, "6 Things Breastfeeding Advocates Should Stop Saying" by popular demand I have now written one listing 6 Things Formula Moms should Stop Saying. I'm pretty sure the title alone already has some people up in arms, but here goes...
1.) "You think you're so much better than me because I don't breastfeed."
Believe it or not, most moms do not choose to breastfeed because they are concerned with being better than other moms. The choice to breastfeed has to do with mom and baby only. Breastfeeding is a huge commitment and I doubt at 3 am when they are up for the forth feeding with their nipples burning, they are thinking, "So glad I chose this to be a better mom than those who didn't choose this." That's most likely the last thing on their mind.
2.) "So you're saying babies who aren't breastfed will be dumb?"
No, no they're not. When the benefit about breastfed babies get higher I.Q.'s is stated it really seems to stir the pot. No one is saying your baby will be dumb and no one is saying that all it takes for a high I.Q. is breastmilk. It gets frustrating when anytime benefits of breastmilk is stated people think that their baby will go without because they don't breastfeed and that isn't the case.
3.) "Formula is just as good as breastmilk."
No, formula is an adequate alternative to breastmilk, but it is not just as good. That is not an attack, it's simple science. Breastmilk is alive formula is not. No matter how hard they try to duplicate breastmilk it cannot and will not ever be duplicated to an exact science. There are so many differences between formula and breastmilk so saying that the two are one in the same is not accurate.
4.) "Formula moms get discriminated against too, not just breastfeeding moms."
That is not true. Formula moms may get judged and receive criticism, but they do not get discriminated against. Moms who bottle feed don't get told to cover up, to move it to a restroom, get the cops called on them, and actually kicked out of establishments. Breastfeeding moms actually had to have laws made just to protect their right to feed in public. Breastfeeding moms have to have nurse ins and protests just to make a point that they have just as much of a right to feed in public as anyone else. Breastfeeding moms have to hear judgments and criticisms for the way they choose to breastfeed in public. The discrimination breastfeeding moms face sucks and is definitely not something they are proud to claim happens, but it does.
5.) "Not all moms can breastfeed so you should consider their feelings."
I'm not even really sure what that means. Obviously not all moms can or will breastfeed, but what kind of considerations are they wanting people to take? It's never okay to judge or criticize a mom for her feeding choices, so lets just get that out of the way.. But I hear that remark made when a simple post is made talking about a benefit of breastmilk or when a mom describes her experience and talks about the beautiful bond they share through breastfeeding. Promoting breastmilk, sharing facts and personal experiences is not judging moms who couldn't breastfeed or chose not to breastfeed. I think I would have to say it's a two way street , have consideration for what breastfeeding moms go through and we can have consideration for what formula feeding moms go through, but trying to silence people from discussing breastfeeding in a positive light is never gonna happen and it's inconsiderate of anyone to expect that.
6.) "Just because you breastfeed that doesn't mean I love my baby any less because I formula feed."
Breastfeeding moms talk about their bonds they have with their breastfed babies and I notice that it sets something off in some people. Just because a mom is describing the love she feels and talks about the amazing bond she has with her baby that in no way implies that she thinks those who don't breastfeed will not experience a loving bond and feel a connection with their babies. All moms connect and bond with their babies differently so please stop feeling the need to defend the fact that you love, bond, and connect with your baby as well of course you do! A mom describing her bond and how she gets it is not a mom implying that is the only way all moms can bond.
I hope this helps clear some things up and I hope this article didn't get anyone too heated. This isn't meant to instigate or put anyone down. Remember, I'm both a breastfeeding mom and a formula feeding mom so I definitely do not have a bias viewpoint. I try my best to keep my advocacy fair and supportive. I think all moms deserve love and support no matter what they feed their babies!