Stop Using Men As Your Scapegoat For Your Disapproval Of Breastfeeding

By: Tom Miller

 I'm really getting tired of men being used by women who feel the need to shame breastfeeding mothers. Every time a photo gets posted of a mother who is feeding her baby in a not so "discreet" manner I always see comments from other women about how inappropriate it is because of their "we all know how men think" mentality. If a mother chooses to breastfeed in public uncovered it's time for some women to play the "pervs will see it and get off on it" card. These are many of the same people who have profile photos of themselves in low cut or revealing tops and outfits and who probably visit the beach every summer wearing bikinis that leave little to the imagination. They don't seem to be overly concerned about the way we men think when they are dressing how they want to dress and doing what they want to do. Suddenly pervs getting off on exposed female skin is not very important. 

   Frankly, painting all men as lascivious, lustful, and sexually perverted animals when it comes to breastfeeding and only breastfeeding is getting really old and is beginning to wear a little thin. Are there guys who behave in a creepy and unacceptable way when they see breastfeeding? Undoubtably and unfortunately yes. I would argue that those guys are the exceptions to male behavior towards breastfeeding rather than the rule. People might also take note that these guys get called out and reprimanded for their creep and despicable behavior by other guys. If I said all women were sluts and whores because of how they dressed or presented themselves every woman on Facebook would probably let me know in no uncertain terms how offensive such a statement is and they would be right in doing so. That's how I feel every time a woman chooses to shame breastfeeding mothers with statements about how guys can't help but sexually objectify women.

Funny how we see women wearing revealing clothes every time we go out in public and yet we somehow manage to control ourselves and our sexual urges and go about our daily lives, but if we see a woman breastfeeding and showing a sliver of breast we suddenly turn into Incredible Pervs much like the guy who turns into the Incredible Hulk. I would like to make a simple request of women who like to use us males as scapegoats in their shaming tactics. If you have a problem with how a woman is nursing her baby then say it's YOUR hang up that's causing the problem! Own your negative feelings towards it and be adult enough to say it's you who simply don't like it or approve of how it's being done. Be adult enough to say that it is YOU who don't want to see it.

Stop using men to push your arguments under the guise of trying to protect mothers because you think everyone will agree that all we are all a bunch of pervs who think with the heads in our pants rather than ones on our shoulders. Frankly your arguments, like a bucket full of holes, doesn't hold water and is very offensive to those of us who try to be respectful. Generally speaking guys are very respectful towards breastfeeding mothers because most of us have our own mothers and we wouldn't want anyone disrespecting them. Why not hold those of us who try to be supportive and respectful of breastfeeding mothers up as examples to encourage mothers to breastfeed and be confident about it wherever they are rather than using the creepy exceptions to the rules among us to shame mothers into hiding? If you want to personally shame mothers because they are feeding their babies in a way you disapprove of that's your choice, but if you choose to go that route take that journey on your own. Leave us guys out of it and let us speak for ourselves. You might be surprised to know how most of us actually think and feel and it may be nothing close to what you are trying to convince people to think about us.

Kristy Kemp

My name is Kristy Kemp. I created Breastfeeding Mama Talk back in September 2012. My motivation behind creating Breastfeeding Mama Talk was to be that support system for breastfeeding mothers around the world.