7 Reasons Why Sex Hasn't Appealed To Me Since Having A Child

Upset young couple having problems with sex.

By: Kristy Kemp 

So I'm really putting myself out there with this article. I'm going into my uncomfortable place, but I feel it's something that needs to be discussed more.  Sex seems to be a hard topic many women feel uncomfortable opening up about. I've decided to get personal and share how having a child has pretty much depleted my desire for sex. Now I'm not in any way blaming my son and I'm definitely not saying that all moms feel this way. I'm sharing this so maybe another mom who is experiencing the same can see she isn't alone or maybe this helps some of the men understand a little bit whats going on and that if their wife isn't really feeling sex it doesn't necessarily mean it's because of anything he is doing.

So let's just say when I first got with my husband over ten years ago sex was definitely not an issue. I loved my body, it was new for me, yes my husband is who I gave my virginity to. Told you I was getting real. We experimented with new things and it was fun. For the first five years we had sex at least once a day and then...

We brought our son home from the hospital....

1.) I'm not happy with my body and how I look.

I definitely do not look like I looked when I first got together with my husband. My husband can tell me how beautiful he thinks I am and convince me that he finds me attractive, but until I truly believe it, it's going to negatively impact our sex life.

2.) I'm tired. I'm just tired.

No my son isn't a baby anymore, but I still have to get up in the wee morning to get him to school, pick him up, do all the cleaning, cooking, etc... By the time hubs gets home I'm usually asleep. I would rather sleep than stay up a little later to have sex. I have to say since becoming a mom sleep appeals to me a lot more over more things than just sex.

3.) My son is a total cock block. Plain and simple.

In those rare in the moment heated moments when I'm actually in the mood, it's like my son has some radar and he manages to find a way to stop it from happening. Yes we can lock our doors, but knowing he is right outside the door because he's pounding on it, kind of ruins the moment. If you know what I mean.

4.) What happened to foreplay?

With my hubs schedule, me being tired all the time, and the tiny window we get when we finally do make love, it's more like a wham jam thank you ma'am and it's done. I need caressing, rubbing, kissing my body to really get my juices flowing, but it just seems like foreplay went out the window.

5.) I just don't have the energy to get into it like I did before.

I used to be able to go at it for hours, but lately I can't go at it for longer than a few minutes before losing my breath and having it feel like more of a painful workout than sexual pleasure.

6.) I can't relax enough to climax.

Since becoming a mom my stress levels are through the roof. Worrying about paying bills, making sure everyone has clean clothes, all of my work obligations to maintain my site, etc. It effects my sleep and it definitely effects my sex drive.

7.) Sometimes it's painful.

I know I know how many reasons or excuses can one person have. It's true though.

Can some of these reasons be fixed? Absolutely! Is there hope to revamp our sex life? I'd like to think so. Luckily my husband is understanding and he's a simple guy with simple taste, so it really hasn't effected our relationship. I just know that the lack of desire to have sex is something a lot of women go through and I want them to know that they aren't alone and it doesn't make them any less of a woman. Having a baby can really change a person. I also believe that no woman should be pressured into sex or feel like she should have sex out of some obligation. I encourage you to be honest with your partner because they just may be understanding. Communication really is key here . 

 

Kristy Kemp

My name is Kristy Kemp. I created Breastfeeding Mama Talk back in September 2012. My motivation behind creating Breastfeeding Mama Talk was to be that support system for breastfeeding mothers around the world.