By: Kristy Kemp
Finally home with your newborn baby. No more nurses to cheer you on, no more doctors around to ask the twenty some odd questions that pops in your head every twenty minutes, no more lactation consultants showing up as soon as you call, to help get baby to latch, & no more hospital staff to get your baby in that perfectly tight swaddle you could bounce a quarter off of. Just you and your baby. Just you and that tiny little human that was just kicking from inside your belly just nights before. Just you and your baby that you carried inside your belly for months dreaming about the day you would actually get to hold him in your arms. The time is finally here. You soon realize taking care of your baby outside the womb is a whole different ballgame, but you just take it day by day.
Something you were not prepared for was how much one small little baby could eat, cry, & poop , oh my the poop, so much poop and tears, poopy tears, oh look, new mom brain showing through I'm blending words. The sleep deprivation and laundry is starting to show, the tears from how sore your nipples are, and the fantasies of being able to shower again. As tired, stressed, and smelly as I may be I will never neglect my baby , I will never leave him to cry it out. It seems silly that I would even need to say that, say that I will never allow my precious newborn baby to cry and cry and cry and be scared , alone, and wondering why, no one comes, until eventually the crying stops because of physical exhaustion. My sleep may get interrupted and it may take ten attempts to finally get all the dishes loaded into the dishwasher, but all that other stuff can wait because when my baby needs me I drop everything , no questions asked.
1.) The sound of my baby crying is part of me , meaning as soon as I hear crying, I'm physically and mentally wired to react to get to my baby as soon as possible. Kinda like when the doctor taps your knee cap with that hammer thingy and your leg kicks up on it's own, I'm the leg kick in that scenario, it is just my natural reaction.
2.) When my baby cries he is not trying to manipulate me to do extra pointless things, like some people imply or Things you may think a baby could live without. Sometimes all he needs is to see that I'm there and it immediately calms him.
3.) Even when I just changed his diaper, fed him, burped him, and every other possible thing you can do for a baby I still attend to his cries, even when I know that all there is left I can do is to hold him, cuddle him, talk to him. Babies need frequent cuddles and reassurance throughout the night and day and they are just as important as food and sleep. So even when you crossed every single thing off your checklist knowing there isn't one possible thing you can do , there is ALWAYS gonna be a need of your baby wanting you near.
4.) If I only attended to his cries when I thought he actually needed something like food or a diaper change when in the world would I get the bonding in? How would I be able to establish trust that my baby can always count on me to be there if I only show up half of the time or the times I think are convenient to me?
5.) I don't know about you, but how would I even go about my day hearing the sound of my crying baby? Let's say I did have the, "Well his diaper is clean & belly is full so he doesn't really need me" attitude, I sure as heck would not be able to relax one bit the whole time I left my baby to cry in the hypothetical scenario.
6.) I follow my instincts and my instincts are pretty strong in this area. My instincts tell me to comfort my baby, every single time.
7.) I'm aware that sometimes my baby just needs me close for no particular reason at all and that is fine by me. If I have to I will wear my baby all day everyday and bed share at night if that's what he needs to feel safe. Although, I don't know why my baby hasn't gotten tired of me yet.
8.) Here's one, how about because I don't want to?
9.) You say having my baby cry it out is good for his lungs and I say his lungs work just fine and I'm pretty confident that me comforting the cries will not cause any damage to his lungs.
10.) I love being a comfort to my baby and I love the fact that I'm the one that brings him security. Hearing the crying stop as soon as I step into the room kind of makes a girl feel important, you know?