By: Kristy Kemp
Your breastfeeding photos are beautiful.
Your breastfeeding photos also fill my heart with loss and regret.
It's not that I don't like seeing them.
It's not that I think you're wrong for posting.
I feel envious and I know that is wrong. I should feel happy for you, but I don't, Instead I feel sad for myself, nowhere near glad like I know that I should.
When I see your Brelfie it makes me wish I could post my own.
I'm not mad at you
I do not hate or blame you either.
I can't help these feelings that overcome my heart.
Such a mix of emotion because I love breastfeeding and all that it stands for.
I hate that I didn't get to have the same joyous experience of my own.
I hate that I don't get to fill an album full of breastfeeding photos like you have shown.
I hate that I struggled.
I hate that I had no support
I hate that when I see your breastfeeding photo it makes me sad.
They say you shouldn't live your life with any regret
and I really do understand why.
Regret makes you bitter.
regret makes you mad.
Little by little I'm learning to accept.
Little by little I'm learning to grow my heart,
so that when I see your photo
my heart will only light up with joy
and not ache in pain & regret.