Moms who are simply meeting the needs of their babies are catching such flak for it and I don't understand why. Some moms choose to allow their babies to cry and self soothe, some would rather have their babies sleep in cribs, and some choose to feed their babies on a schedule. If that is what those parents want to do, their kids, their say. This isn't about trying to make moms feel bad for their choices. It's about respecting each others choices even if it's a choice that would never work for you. And no I'm not saying that people who parent differently than the choices in this article do not love their kids. This article is strictly addressing the fact that babies can never be "Spoiled" , but they most definitely can be loved.
"Whenever I cry my mommy drops everything to comfort me. That doesn't mean I'm spoiled, it means I'm loved."
"Whenever I want to nurse, my mommy will let me latch, wherever we are. That doesn't mean I'm spoiled, it means I'm loved."
"I sleep best near my mommy so we share a bed. That doesn't mean I'm spoiled, it means I'm loved."
"I love feeling close to my mommy and snuggled up tightly, so she wears me. That doesn't mean I'm spoiled, it means I'm loved."
"When I act naughty my mommy tries to redirect my attention on something else, tries to talk me through my emotions, and does so with a quiet calm voice. That doesn't mean I'm spoiled, it means I'm loved."
"I have not left my mommy's side since I first got in her belly. She knows that I am shy and nervous around other people so I go with her wherever she needs to go. That doesn't mean I'm spoiled, it means I'm loved."
Somehow through time, we as a society have forgotten that keeping our babies close to us and feeding them whenever they wanted to be fed is how it was done before we invented cribs, strollers, formula, etc... Comforting them when they cry is what we are wired to do. I have heard from moms who said they wanted to try to let their baby cry themselves to sleep, but after a few seconds it just didn't feel right, that everything inside of her was saying, "I need to comfort my baby, I can't stand to hear this cry for one more second." They then run to comfort their baby. Mothers intuition is strong, so if your instincts are telling you something, there must be something to it. Don't ignore your own instincts.
Unfortunately, a lot of moms are ignoring their own instincts because of this "Spoiled" word. You know what I'm talking about , right? The people who say, "Don't pick up baby every time he cries because then he will start to rely on it and it will make him spoiled." First of all, since when is it a bad thing to have a baby rely on his mother? Don't we as parents want our kids to feel safe, loved, and take comfort in the fact that we will always be there for them? Babies cry because that is their form of survival. That is the only way they physically and mentally know how to communicate with their parents. The people they have come to rely on to meet their needs because they cannot meet those needs themselves. Babies cry for all sorts of reasons, They can be hungry, tired, gassy, want cuddles,uncomfortable temperature, the tag could be bugging them, uncomfortable position, scared, etc... The list goes on. The problem that arises is that many parents will not understand why their baby is crying. They think, "They were just fed and have a clean diaper so what can baby possibly want? I think he is crying for no good reason, but to drive me nuts. He must be crying just to manipulate me into getting all my attention focused on him. If I comfort him for that reason then that might spoil him so he needs to learn that I will only attend to cries when I think he REALLY needs me." Here is the thing, babies will always need you.
A baby who cries, even for no good reason other than to cry is still a baby communicating. I know it can get frustrating, especially when in your mind all of baby's needs are met. Their need in that moment could simply be that they miss you and want you close, even if you only left the room five minutes ago.Just remind yourself it's communication not manipulation and it definitely will not spoil them to respond to them.