You might be a butter...
By: Kristy Kemp
You might be a butter if you've ever said I support breastfeeding, but... One day being fed up with hearing so many people claim to fully support breastfeeding, BUT they really did not I came up with a word to call those people. I call them Butters. Butter- Someone who claims to fully support breastfeeding, but really does not. People want to have it both ways and I don't allow it, well at least not on my pages or groups. I call the butters out any chance I get and I encourage my followers to do the same. It frustrates me when people who place conditions on how someone else should breastfeed also try to claim they support breastfeeding mothers. It doesn't work that way. If someone wants to claim they fully support breastfeeding they have to earn that right.
Let me explain more in depth why I take it so personally. I have been advocating for breastfeeding mothers for a little over two years and in that time I have learned that breastfeeding is so much more complex then what meets the eye. I have come across many different ways one could breastfeed or ensure that their baby receives breastmilk. Some of those ways even made me a little uncomfortable. I have come across a woman who breastfeeds her pug and a women who breastfeeds her father (who has cancer) from the tap because she felt like it was helping treat his cancer. Those two situations really tested me as a breastfeeding advocate and supporter for a woman's right to breastfeed how she chooses. I had to really sit myself down and think hard and the conclusion I came to was I cannot claim to fully support breastfeeding if I'm not able to step outside of my personal comfort zone to show my support for how they are choosing to breastfeed. People think when they show their support that it's somehow saying that because they support someone else doing something that it means they would feel comfortable doing it themselves and that isn't further away from the truth. You can support someone without it meaning that you would do it. support isn't about yourself it's about the other person. I advocate for breastfeeding rights and a woman's right to CHOOSE her own breastfeeding experience. So in those two situations both women were willingly choosing to do so and I support them. Does that mean I would ever breastfeed a pug or my own father? Heck no! I can guarantee you that! So when I see people who can't step outside of their own personal comfort zone to FULLY support someone else yet they want to claim they fully support it, I call them out on their butter ways.
It's important to me that they are at least made aware that yes they can have their opinion, but they are not fully supporting a woman's right to breastfeed.. Just like they want to speak their opinion on how they feel one should breastfeed it is my right to state mine right back.
Many people have given me a hard time for this "Butter" word I call people. They say it's antagonizing and attacking. It is doing no such thing. It's being satire and mixing in a little humor for a more serious issue. I could have come up with a much more insulting word. I feel it is tame enough and in good fun. A fun light way for breastfeeding mothers to defend themselves against those who say, "I support breastfeeding, But..."
You might be a butter if you have ever said, I support breastfeeding, but
"Only if you cover when you're in public."
Just because you would want to use a cover in public doesn't mean everyone wants to and that should be their right to choose without any shame for what they choose.
"Only if you stop when the kid turns one."
Just because some feel babies/toddlers don't necessarily NEED mamas milk past a certain age if mom and baby are not ready to wean yet that is their choice and supporting that choice isn't saying that you would breastfeed past age one it's just supporting hers and baby's right to choose when they deem it necessary to stop.
"Only if you don't drink alcohol."
many butters come out when the Breastfeeding and Alcohol topic comes up. Many people are uninformed on the effects alcohol may have on baby. Many people assume that everything mom consumes will go directly to baby and that isn't further away from the truth. You can read more on it here.
"how could you give your baby breastmilk that came from someone other then their mother."
Donor Breastmilk is just another option one can choose to ensure their baby receives breastmilk. Most places screen the milk and there are other things one can do to ensure safety. Donor breastmilk is used in a lot of hospitals to help premature babies because breastmilk can do what formula cannot in some cases. Not being able to look past your own discomfort to support others is not supporting and therefore means you lost your right in saying that you support breastfeeding.
Take this quiz to see if you are a butter, slipping down a buttery slope, or if you are fully supportive of a woman's right to breastfeed!