August 20, 2015

8 Reasons Your Discomfort With Breastfeeding Is Not My Problem

August 20, 2015/ Kristy Kemp

I have heard many people say that breastfeeding moms should think about the people around them who may be uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding and that it's just common decency to hide their breastfeeding in case it would upset someone. I have listed 8 reasons why your discomfort with breastfeeding is not our problem.

1.) I can't control how the people around me will act therefore I don't feel like I should be controlled either. If I were to ask a stranger to cover herself because her chewing with her mouth open grosses me out that would not go over too well. I don't try to dictate how other people should eat, therefore no one gets to dictate how my baby eats.

8 Reasons Your Discomfort With Breastfeeding Is Not My Problem...

2.) I'm a mother and the needs of my baby is all I concern myself with. I'm not consuming my mind with how I can make the way I breastfeed more enjoyable to the public as I'm not putting on a show. What is going through my head is ,"I hope I don't leak through , I hope I will produce enough milk , & I want baby to be as comfortable as possible because I hope he will fall asleep before I get to the next store." So you see there is no room for me to concern myself with your comfort.

3.) The law states a mother may breastfeed her baby wherever she is authorized to be. Your disapproval is not law therefore it's not my problem.

4.) I'm not chasing anyone around singing, "My milkshake brings all the haters to the yard." So I feel like if you have such a disgust over it you can simply not look or move somewhere else. Why should I be the one who has to move or cover when I'm not the one with the issue?

5.) Breastfeeding is the original baby food and it sustains the lives of tiny human beings. Why would I feel ashamed about that? Why should I feel the need to hide that? The real problem would be a baby going hungry and when my baby is hungry that is the only problem I'm worried about solving.

6.) I don't consult or consider a complete strangers comfort with any other parental choice so why would I with how I should breastfeed?

7.) Here's the thing, everyone has their own opinion on how they feel a mom should breastfeed so why am going to wrestle with a blanket when my baby and I hate it and there could possibly be an issue despite the fact I used a cover I didn't even want to use in the first place. Yes, shocker even moms who cover still get harassed.

8. I'm a confident mom doing the best I possibly can. I'm proud to breastfeed in public , I'm proud I nourish my baby with my body , & I'm proud that I'm confident enough to not give a damn that you have a problem with it.

August 19, 2015

What If We Took Breast Out Of Breastfeeding?

August 19, 2015/ Kristy Kemp

It's no secret that breastfeeding moms face extreme criticism, harassment, and discrimination. You wouldn't think that a mom who is doing the best she possibly could for her child would get so much hate. We all know the reasoning behind it. A baby eats from the breasts and much of society look at breasts in a sexual manner. Most of society only associates sex with breasts and that's okay to associate sex with breasts no one is saying otherwise. At least, not in this blog. The association with sex and breasts is stronger for a lot of people than the fact breasts biological purpose is actually to feed a baby. The reason it's so much stronger for them is because that really might be all they know. They may have never come across breastfeeding in their lives and it's more likely that they have come across breasts in a sexual sense most of their life. Which is why people like myself are trying to normalize breastfeeding and remind society what their biological purpose is. I thought it would be interesting to switch the words a bit to show how ridiculous some of these arguments against breastfeeding are. I'm going to list some of the common arguments against breastfeeding, but just change the word "Breastmilk/Breastfeeding" to Formula/bottles. Now if the arguments sound absurd when replaced with formula or bottle those same people should also find it absurd had it stated breastfeeding instead. Otherwise it's a bit hypocritical.

What if we took Breast out of breastfeeding?

* "I support formula feeding, but only if you cover yourself while doing so in public."

* "Do you really think it's appropriate that my child see you formula feed? I was not ready to have "the talk" with my kid."

* "I mean if you know your baby will get hungry you should plan ahead and bring enough bottles of formula so people won't have to see you formula feed. "

* "Must you expose your bottle not everyone wants to see your bottles."

* "Have some respect and class. Exposing your bottles to my husband is upsetting to me."

* "You are just bottle feeding for the attention."

* "You should formula feed in the bathroom."

* "By all means bottle feed , but you don't need to post pictures of it online. No one wants to see your bottles."

* "Your bottle feeding is making our guests uncomfortable I'm going to need you to cover yourself or leave."

The fact of the matter is breastfeeding is just that, feeding. Formula/bottle feeding is just that, feeding. If you are going to argue one you need to make sure it would apply to the other. Breastfeeding moms have just as right as any to feed their babies in public without criticism for how they happen to do it. Now I'm not saying people should criticize the other, I'm saying I know for a fact the same people who make the above arguments for breastfeeding would not do so for bottle/formula feeding. Which is hypocritical to say the least. I know a few will argue that it's because breastfeeding is different than bottle feeding. Is it though? Is it really? Both formula and breast are both nourishing baby, both need to take place anytime and anywhere, both do it how it feels more comfortable to them. Yes there is a difference with the milk and how baby receives it, but both ways are feeding hungry babies. When you try to stop or seclude a breastfeeding mom just know that you are interfering with an innocent little baby getting fed simply because it makes you uncomfortable. It does not make a mom selfish for not caring about what the people around her think about how she feeds. Just as it wouldn't make her selfish for not caring about what people think about any other parenting choice. The only selfish one in my book are those who care about their own comfort over a baby's, are those who care more about their comfort than about a hungry baby getting fed, & are those who would discriminate and harass a mom for feeding her baby. People uncomfortable with breastfeeding should try to look past the breast part and concentrate on the feeding part. Breasts are not the only thing involved and when people argue against breastfeeding they always fail to recognize that a mom is actually nourishing her baby with those breasts, providing comfort, and security to their baby. Take away the breast part and you're left with them being against the baby being fed. If it's the breast part that makes you uncomfortable then take away the breast and just see that a baby is eating and mom is providing that nourishment. If you say you aren't against a baby being fed that's only true if you're not against breastfeeding. If you are against breastfeeding in public think long and hard about that stance of yours because it also means you're against babies eating and I do not know what kind of decent human being would be against that.

August 18, 2015

6 Reasons Breastfeeding Moms Post #Brelfies...

August 18, 2015/ Kristy Kemp

There is so much controversy surrounding breastfeeding which is why there is so much uproar whenever a breastfeeding mom posts a picture of it. So many people don't understand why breastfeeding moms feel the need to post pictures when they may upset people who see the pictures. A question I hear come up a lot is, "I understand the need to breastfeed, but why the need to post pictures of it?" Well in this article I listed six reasons and there may be more I haven't thought of.

1.) Sharing a breastfeeding picture is just sharing a normal part of everyday life for some moms. People post pictures of what they had for lunch, some post pictures of them bottle feeding so why should breastfeeding be left out? Breastfeeding moms have just as much of a right as anyone else to post pictures.

6 Reasons Breastfeeding Moms Post #Brelfies

2.) The more people see breastfeeding the more normal it becomes. Many moms have joined the #NormalizeBreastfeeding movement and they feel like the more breastfeeding is seen by society the more normal it becomes. A common argument in the breastfeeding community is why is seeing a woman in a bikini less shocking than seeing a mom breastfeed. It's because women in bikinis are seen a lot more. It's normal beach or pool attire and it's just accepted as the norm. Breastfeeding needs to be out there. More moms are sharing that confidence with the world and the purpose is to do their part to normalize breastfeeding.

3.) It's a way to show other moms who may not be as confident or who may feel as if breastfeeding out in the open is wrong, that it isn't and that there are other moms out there letting them know that breastfeeding is nothing to be ashamed about and there is no reason to hide it unless for their own comfort.

4.) Breastfeeding takes a lot of hard work, sacrifice, and doesn't come easy for all. Some post their breastfeeding pictures because it's a proud moment in their life. They worked hard, they overcame struggles, they are proud, and just like with any other accomplishment in life, it's something people like to share with their friends, family, and even strangers in online communities.

5.) Some post breastfeeding picture as a way of protest. A lot of breastfeeding moms face bullying both in person and online. Some will post breastfeeding pictures to show that their bullying and harassment does not bring them down and they will keep calm and breastfeed on.

6.) Some people, like myself post breastfeeding pictures as a way to show support for breastfeeding in general. Think about other things and topics in life that you support. Be it the military, a certain musician, or other important causes. You want to post about it, right? For some people breastfeeding and supporting it is very important to them and they feel inclined to share it.

August 15, 2015

First 12 Weeks Of Breastfeeding Week By Week...

August 15, 2015/ Kristy Kemp

Week 1- Our first latch boy was I excited, nervous, & scared all at the same time. Will I produce enough milk? Will my milk be enough to sustain him? Will he latch correctly? So many questions so many fears ran through my head.

First 12 Weeks Of Breastfeeding Week By Week

Week 2- Well the stains on my sheets and my achy engorged breasts, definite indicator that my milk is here! Yay! Now the fun really begins. Oh no, I think too much is coming out at once and you're not liking this letdown, what do I do? How do I fix this? How do I make my milk come out slower? Someone help!

Week 3- I think we finally got down our own little rhythm. Found a position that you and I are both good with and you have been having plenty of poop and pee diapers I really don't know what all this fuss is about we got this! Yeah we got this.

Week 4- I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep since I had you I don't think I can go one more night without some sleep. Maybe I should look into pumping so daddy can help with the night feedings that will solve all my problems, I know it will! Now what pump to get? That is the problem.

Week 5- So remember those two nights of full sleep I got, Thanks to daddy taking over the night feedings with my pumped milk? Well nobody told me that interfering with our routine & going so long without nursing would cause me to get a plugged duct and I'm in terrible pain! This is what I get for wanting a little sleep? It's so not fair! Why didn't anyone tell me this would happen? Not only that, but these cracked nipples are not helping anyone. Why did I think I could do this? Why is this so hard for me? What am I doing wrong here? All I could do that whole day was sob like a baby.

Week 6- Things seem to be back on track and I'm ready to go somewhere, anywhere outside of this house! Not even an hour into our outing and you're ready for some milk. Wait there is people around me, real live people that isn't my husband. What do I do? Is it even legal for me to nurse him in front of everyone? I did not prepare myself for this. Well my baby is hungry he needs to be fed so I'm feeding him. Awe that wasn't so bad even got a couple of smiles. Not sure what I was worried about.

Week 7- Why does it seem like I'm not producing as much milk as I was a week ago? Milk was flowing like a stream. No I can't lose my supply I just can't not when I'm finally getting the hang of it! Off to find supplements I guess. So many to choose from how do I choose? I swear I need a Breastfeeding For Dummies book. Well the lactation consultant says that the amount I'm getting out with the pump is not a true indicator of how much milk I have. I don't understand that though a pump gets my milk out so how can it not be a true indicator? Apparently because a pump cannot replicate a baby's suckle perfectly so baby could be getting more out when he nurses. You have plenty of pee and poop diapers so I guess I'm making enough. I hope.

Week 8- Time for your check up little one. How come there is a paper full of what formula brand I'm using and how I prepare the milk? Don't they know I'm breastfeeding? Did they give me the wrong form? Doctor said that you're a little underweight and I should consider supplementing with formula. Formula? What? Why? So I'm broken? I can't produce enough milk for my baby? Just like that? I feel so defeated. Maybe I should talk to other moms and see if they were told the same. Hmmm... "Breastfeeding Mama Talk" on Facebook looks like a good group. Well boy was I in for a surprise. Apparently breastfed babies grow at a different rate than formula fed babies. Looks like his pediatrician was going off the standard form. According to the other chart my baby is right on track! I wonder why the doctor was so quick to have me supplement. Doesn't he know that breastmilk is the healthiest?

www.InfantgrowthChart.com

Week 9- This was probably the hardest week of all. It's the week I have to return to work. It's the week that I could no longer stay in all day just to keep you at my breast. I was not going to let this obstacle stop me I will make sure you still get mommy's milk. I will just have to work a little harder that's all. I got my pump, all the supplies, time to bring home the bacon and the milk. Well this should be fun where am I gonna pump? Boss tells me there is an outlet in the bathroom? Well that doesn't seem very accommodating. Luckily that fantastic group I joined last week informed me on the laws in place to protect breastfeeding moms. I showed up to work the next day with a print out of my state law and handed it over to my boss. About an hour or so later he called me into his office and thanked me for informing him on the law and that he would abide by it. Phew, that was nerve racking , but I'm so glad I knew about the law beforehand. I would have been miserable pumping in that bathroom.

Week 10- I cherish the moments when I do get to nurse. Cuddled up in bed and getting to nurse my baby to sleep almost makes up for the hours I miss when I'm at work. Sometimes I feel so guilty about leaving him, but I have to provide for him more than just my milk.

Week 11- We got this. public outings I ditch that cover, pull down my shirt, and nursing with my head up high and proud. I've even gotten a few negative remarks, but I pay no mind. I'm hardcore now and it feels liberating. The time I do get with my baby is precious so I refuse to waste any of it by focusing on what the people around me think about me providing the best for my baby.

Week 12- Everything is right on track and would you believe it? I'm now assisting other moms with their breastfeeding struggles! How about that? I'm the one telling mamas that it will get easier. I'm the one informing moms on what the laws are that protect us. I'm the one telling moms to question the doctor recommendations if it doesn't feel right to them. I'm the one reassuring moms that what they pumped out is not a true indicator of their supply and to just relax and breathe they will pull through. Would you believe it? I even attended my first Nurse In to support a local mom getting discriminated against and it felt amazing. All I can say is I had some hard weeks, struggles, & doubts, but with some information, support, & confidence we got through it and you will too.

August 11, 2015

I Breastfeed & I'm Not Sorry It Makes You Uncomfortable...

August 11, 2015/ Kristy Kemp

You are uncomfortable with breastfeeding, I get it. The fact that I will feed my baby anytime and anywhere upsets you, okay. You feel that me constantly posting my breastfeeding pictures is inappropriate and a cry out for attention, I hear ya. You weren't ready for your kids to be exposed to it? Oh well, that's a shame that you want to shield your kids from learning and knowing the natural way babies are fed. It upsets you that your husband caught a glimpse of side boob? Better keep him away from beaches, pools, & hell even the Mall then because I can assure you that he will catch a whole lot more than a glimpse of side boob elsewhere.

I'm not sorry that the fact I chose to give my baby the best start in life makes you uncomfortable, I'm not sorry that my baby gets hungry even when we're *GASP* out of the house upsets you, & posting the breastfeeding pictures is just me sharing a normal part of my life as a mom just as moms who bottle feed do. It isn't a “cry out” for attention it's me sharing my life, something that makes me proud, and I'm not sorry for that either. You don't want your kids to be exposed to breastfeeding that is your choice, but excuse me when I say that you not wanting your kid to see me breastfeeding really is not my problem. You focus on your kid and I will do the same and my kid wants to eat when he's hungry and I will do just that no matter who happens to be around at the time. So you're worried about your husband seeing some of my engorged, leaking side boob with a side of cracked nipples. I will take that as a compliment because lately I feel like an ugly cow, but you feeling "threatened" by me just made my day, so I will thank you for that one.

I wasn't fond with breastfeeding before I had my baby. I too used to insist that breastfeeding moms should cover up, I too used to insist that there was a time and a place to breastfeed your baby, & I definitely felt that posting pictures on social media was inappropriate. Then something happened, I gave birth to a beautiful little human being and in that instant it was no longer about me. No longer about my opinion and how I wanted things to be. You see, people think babies don't have a mind of their own and that isn't true. My baby decides when it's time eat, my baby decides when it's time to sleep, my baby lets me know what makes him more comfortable, and my baby definitely doesn't decide these things with keeping your opinion in mind. My baby does not care that you don't want to see him eat or cry, doesn't care that you think his face should be covered, & doesn't care that you think we should be in a bathroom just so you don't have to be “exposed” to breastfeeding.

I follow my baby's lead which means I pay no mind to what strangers want or even close friends and family. I let my baby decide when and how he wants to eat. You see, it isn't necessarily me who is choosing to breastfeed when, where, & how I do it. My baby decides when he is hungry, my baby decides what makes him most comfortable & it's definitely not under a hot blanket, believe me, I know because I've tried the whole cover thing and he wasn't having it. I spent more time wrestling with keeping him covered which actually ended up making me expose more.

All I can say is that breastfeeding is the biological norm and it will never go away no matter how badly you don't want to see it. There is something you can do to avoid seeing me breastfeed. You can choose to not look, you can choose to hide my photos from your news feed, & you can choose to live with it because I will never put your needs above my baby's. You can say that makes me disrespectful, you can say that makes me lack class, & you can insult me all you want, but it just makes me even stronger and it just makes me seek out even more support which gives me even more confidence. So sorry, not sorry that seeing me breastfeed makes you uncomfortable because I'm just a mom meeting my baby's needs and that's nothing to be sorry for.

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