No One Gets A Say In How I Breastfeed But Me...
/Have you ever been told that you should make a choice that you don't feel is right for you or in the best interest of your baby? Some people act as though they should get some kind of a say in someone else's breastfeeding choices.
*Statement - "Well it's his baby too so you should pump so daddy can experience the bond you get with feeding as well." OR "It's not that hard to pump enough bottles for when you go out in public."
Answer- No! A mom should not be guilted into pumping when direct latch breastfeeding is working fine for her. While I love that moms have the OPTION to pump if they NEED it I don't feel like just because the option is there people assume that she would automatically be okay using it. If mom is comfortable with pumping and wants the help from daddy and decides to pump good for her , but criticizing her for not being okay to pump or EXPECTING she would pump is not okay.
*Statement- "I realize you need to feed your baby in public , but what is the big deal about just throwing a light cover over yourself? Not everyone is comfortable seeing it?"
Answer- First of all, I could say the same to you, "I realize you aren't comfortable seeing me feed my baby in public, but what is the big deal for you to just not look my way?" I will never understand the people who think a mom should put a strangers comfort or even her own family or in laws over her baby's comfort and her own. I recently wrote a blog stating 9 different reasons why a mom may not use a cover there are many reasons why and not one of them include, "Because I want to show my boobs to the world and upset people." There are many things that I'm not comfortable seeing in public , but I don't go around asking people to cover it up with a blanket. Same should apply to breastfeeding moms.
*Statement- "Your child doesn't need to breastfeed after like one or two because they get their nutrition from food and I feel like if your adamant that they still get breastmilk pump and give it to them in a cup or just wean them all together."
Answer- Breastfeeding isn't just about the milk. Number one the natural weaning age is actually 7-8. True story. So a mom choosing to continue breastfeeding after one, two, three, four plus is natural and the biological norm. It's not even technically "extending" I hate when people use the term 'Extended breastfeeding" because it makes it sound like they are extending something that should have been stopped earlier. So it would actually be called natural term weaning. Some also call it full term breastfeeding. Meaning mom will breastfeed her child until it is no longer mutually desired. The benefits of consuming breastmilk do not stop on a child's birthday. Please realize that all children have something that comforts them, be it a bottle, pacifier, blanket, or a boob. If a mom is choosing to continue breastfeeding it is because she feels like it's what her child needs, she is the mom, so respect that, and move on...
Statement- "Why do you nurse so often? You shouldn't let your baby use you like a pacifier."
Answer- "Did you know that the pacifier was created to replicate a human nipple? Babies have a biological urge to suckle so it only makes sense they would want to suckle on breast for comfort and it's perfectly okay that they do. Since babies breastfeed for more than just milk it doesn't necessarily mean that baby is even getting milk out every time they suckle. Breastmilk also digests faster than formula which means they will and can eat more frequently."
Statement- "You really shouldn't drink any alcohol or have caffeine as a breastfeeding mom everything you put in your body will go straight to the baby too."
Answer- 'Not true. Breastfeeding and pregnancy are different in the regard that a breastfeeding mom has a little more freedom in what will be passed to baby. For instance if she were to consume alcohol & breastfed a couple hours after her first drink little to none would go to baby because alcohol leaves the milk and does not accumulate meaning a mom could breastfeed and pass not a drop of it to her baby. Studies show that caffeine will not harm the baby so it's okay that a mom enjoys a cup of coffee in the morning. People try to place so many rules and restrictions on moms which scares them away from breastfeeding as they start to doubt their own body because of it."
The gist here is that nobody, not even the father of the baby should have a say in how a woman breastfeeds. Be it how long she feels it's necessary to breastfeed, how she breastfeeds in public, covered or not, and whether or not she wants to pump. Nobody, but the owner of the body gets a say in how they use it and that applies to men as well. Yes there is a baby involved with breastfeeding and while the baby may belong to both parents only one (in most cases) is using their body to nourish the child and it is a woman and a baby's birth right to breastfeed and give their human milk to their human child. All the other ways a child can get nourished are alternatives to breastfeeding. Just because there are other options it doesn't mean that a mom should be forced into them...
Milk Saver Review
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Oh, how I wish I had known about this product years ago! I cannot count how many loads of laundry I have had to wash because of milk stained bras and shirts. Because the letdown reflex is bilateral, both breasts will simultaneously release milk. But unless feeding two children at the same time, the milk on the non-feeding side is usually wasted; absorbed into pads or clothing. But not with Milkies! It is placed on the non-feeding breast and as you feed your baby, it collects all the milk ejected. I average 30 mls/1 ounce a feed. Over the course of the day, this adds up to an extra feed that I do not have to do anything to collect. This product would be especially helpful to mothers who are unable to pump. For me, being able to set the pump aside and collect enough milk for dad to do a nightly feeding is such a relief.
Made of a soft plastic, it sits comfortably against the skin. It can be held onto the breast easily with a nursing bra, allowing your hands to remain free for feeding your baby. The plastic easily folds to a spout allowing you to simply pour the milk into a storage container or bag. The plastic case also doubles as a stand, which comes in handy when trying to set baby down after you’re done breastfeeding. It is easy to clean as it is dishwasher safe. This product is a breastfeeding must. I have already recommended this product to other breastfeeding mothers, and will continue to do so.
To My Birth Mom
/Guest Blogger - Christina Beahan
Dear Mother,
As a mother myself I can only imagine the heartache you must have felt sending me to an orphanage, hoping for a better life for me than you could provide. You knew me before the world did, as I grew from one cell to multiple cells, growing bigger every day. I kicked and punched and slept in your womb. I felt the love you had for me.
I often wonder, when I was born did you cry for me? Did your arms and heart ache for me? As a part of you, I believe you did. I know you wished you could have kept me and watch me grow. Mother, out of love you sent me on to a better life.
When I was still a baby, a new woman and man became my mom and dad and oh what a life they have given me. They watched me learn to walk and talk. They saw me fall and shared my joys and my sorrows. I know the joy that I brought them when they lost hope of having a child. I am a daddy’s girl and he is an amazing man, a God-fearing and loving man. My mom cuddled me, sang to me, played with me, and disciplined me. I know this is the childhood you wanted me to have with an extended family that adored and loved me. My grandparents were the most amazing people I have ever met and I was blessed to call them my grandmas and grandpas. Mother, you gave them a gift and your spirit was always with me.
I kept growing into a teen, and although I went through the typical teenage uncertainty and awkwardness, I was always extremely proud of who I was and still privileged with the life you gave me. I grew into adulthood without too many incidents. As a young woman, I became a mother. At the birth of my daughter, I felt the elation you more than likely also felt when you saw me. There was a little sorrow in my heart though because you were not there to see this child being born. My mom was there and was able to share the birth with me. My daughter would not have been possible without you and your choice.
As a mother of three wonderful children now, I cannot fathom how you could have given me this life. These three children are the gift that would not have been possible without your sacrifice. Thank you, mother, for choosing life. Thank you for choosing adoption. This life I have is amazing. To quote a popular movie, “I never did thank you for this extraordinary life you gave me!” This is my thank you to you, a woman I may never again meet on this earth, but my spirit knows you and will see you in heaven.
Is adoption something that is near and dear to your heart somehow? Feel free to join our group on Facebook called, "BFMT - The Adoption triangle linked below!
Your Breastfeeding Photos Make Me Sad
/By: Kristy Kemp
Your breastfeeding photos are beautiful.
Your breastfeeding photos also fill my heart with loss and regret.
It's not that I don't like seeing them.
It's not that I think you're wrong for posting.
I feel envious and I know that is wrong. I should feel happy for you, but I don't, Instead I feel sad for myself, nowhere near glad like I know that I should.
When I see your Brelfie it makes me wish I could post my own.
I'm not mad at you
I do not hate or blame you either.
I can't help these feelings that overcome my heart.
Such a mix of emotion because I love breastfeeding and all that it stands for.
I hate that I didn't get to have the same joyous experience of my own.
I hate that I don't get to fill an album full of breastfeeding photos like you have shown.
I hate that I struggled.
I hate that I had no support
and
I hate that when I see your breastfeeding photo it makes me sad.
They say you shouldn't live your life with any regret
and I really do understand why.
Regret makes you bitter.
regret makes you mad.
Little by little I'm learning to accept.
Little by little I'm learning to grow my heart,
so that when I see your photo
my heart will only light up with joy
and not ache in pain & regret.
